He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
