I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
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I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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