Heybabeimwearingurpanties
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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