I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
