I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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