Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
