If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
