He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
