someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize