I skipped work to stalk him.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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