The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize