Your tits are I can't wait for
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
