two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I forget how to act sober
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