you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
