And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize