im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
