Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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