cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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