Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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