I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize