ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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