Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
They have beer where we have blood.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
