No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
