you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
