I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
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I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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