You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
