Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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