i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
