you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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