? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
