I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
