Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
