Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
