God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
where are my eyebrows?
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