In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
