My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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