he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
