so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This is my gift to your gina
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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