just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
