whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
