More tranny stories later!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
