Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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