we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There are leaves in my underwear?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
