I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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