The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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