she kept yelling 'call me bella'
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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