I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
