Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
