If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
