i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize