Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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