nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
