She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
