i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
