My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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