i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
