yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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