Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
