this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
