just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit