the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.