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i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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